Gratitude is more than a feeling… it’s an attitude!

Gratitude is more than a feeling… it’s an attitude!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I cannot believe that we are already in 2023! Where has the time gone?!

Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed with how fast things change and people evolve. It can become a source of anxiety if you choose to compare your life or where you stand to other people’s lives and accomplishments. As human beings, the pressure of delivering becomes so important that we tend to forget to celebrate the little wins.

We live in a heavily digitally connected world, making it possible for someone like me sitting in her office in Guinea to reach someone in Canada or South Korea through an article, for instance. This era of connectedness is also the cause of angst to so many, because it is likely to show you how everyone else is doing what you are ‘supposed’ to be doing at a certain stage of your life. To put a bow on the grand achievements, overshadowing the continuous efforts and work that it has taken those people, and is probably taking you, to get there.

While it contributes to creating an unrealistic set of expectations for a lot of people, I still believe that the attitude towards this digital world is more to blame than the content itself. If I had to put it in numbers, I would say that it is a 51-49 % type of situation, with the highest number going to people’s reaction to the contents presented.

A simple example: we all know and have probably once been a part of the ‘New Year, New Me’ clan for all the wrong reasons. Reading the public’s resolutions at every beginning of the years, most look like badly veiled attempts to sending a message to an old friend, old lover, old boss, whatever the case may be. And even though it’s healthy to let it out from time to time, it’s important to not let it become your brand.

Folks these days have a tendency to act following the way they want to be perceived or they want to appear, rather than really embodying it. Instead of living in and embracing the moment, they commit time and energy to the wrong things.

What has worked for me personally is the practice of constant gratitude. Gratitude for small but essential matters such as my health, my mental and financial stability, my self confidence and all the things I have worked, and keep working so hard to nurture and protect.

You see, I view gratitude as more than a feeling… it’s an ATTITUDE!

As soon as you start performing gratitude and implimenting it in your everyday life, you will be less and less affected by all the noise around you.

At the beginning of this year when I reflected on 2022, I realized that I had lost so many friends, and I started questioning myself about where things might have gone wrong. What I found out was such an epiphany moment for me!

I have realized that what these people had in common was the fact that I diluted myself to be friends with them while they were NEVER even meant to be in my circle. We were never meant to be friends because I had to water down myself, my views, my values, for us to sustain a relationship. As soon as I stopped, the link was broken.

This does not mean that they are bad people, it just means that they are not MY people. And instead on dwelling on the lost relationships, I could focus on the people who have been consistantly rock solid for me. Those who make as much effort, give as much weigth to our tie than I do.

Gratitude is the one that took me to that place of peace of mind.

Practicing gratitude gives you perspective, it gives you a range of understanding of other people, it opens your eyes to all the good parts of your life. It even makes you appreciate the less good ones, because you quickly understand that everything in this life is a passing moment.

IT WILL PASS!

So my advice to you on this fine beginning of the year is to make of gratitude more than a trend, a mood, a feeling… make it your attitude!

I hope you’ve all spent the best holidays and that going back to work has not been too challenging!

Sending you all the love in the world!

Xoxo, Narcisse!!!

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Anonymous
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Goodbye Negativity

Goodbye Negativity

Hi, hi!

Did you miss me a lot or even more than that?

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It is the beginning of a new week and I am super excited to be starting it by publishing this new article!

I haven’t been able to post anything for over a month, and this is simply because I have been going through a serious period in my life. One, I believe, every [aspiring] writer goes through: The infamous writer’s block.

Let me tell you that it is very much real.

It was not that I didn’t have anything to write about, but I just could not manage to formulate these ideas into words, let alone lengthy and entertaining articles.

Words were just stuck in my head and didn’t want to fall out of it. As much as I have tried writing this whole time, I simply could not.

I also let laziness push through, if I am being completely honest. I was so busy living my life and trying to get things done that I left the blog on the sidelines.

BUT!

I am back now, and with good reason. I have finally found a new topic that will surely make for a nice blog post.

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Le Déni

Le Déni

Hello, beautiful people!

Représentation de comment je vous accueille aujourd’hui!

J’espère que ce début de semaine est synonyme de positivité et d’abondance dans tous les aspects de vos vies! Le temps passe tellement vite en ce moment que je ne me retrouve plus! Je ne m’étais pas rendue compte que mon dernier article remontait à si loin!

BREF!

Me revoilà avec du contenu comme vous l’aimez (Je pense)!

Je passe rarement par quatre chemins pour annoncer les thèmes de mes textes, simplement parce que je suis de nature impatiente et que je veux tout simplement que vous sachiez d’entrée à quoi vous attendre.

Aujourd’hui je vous parle de la notion de déni. Le déni est par définition très simple, l’action de dénier, de refuser de reconnaître la vérité ou la réalité d’une situation. Dénier, c’est faire le choix de ne pas voir ou accepter une réalité.

Le déni peut se manifester dans plusieurs circonstances de la vie quotidienne. On peut refuser d’accepter la maladie d’un(e) proche, ou refuser d’accepter une rupture amoureuse et se convaincre qu’un retour est possible par exemple. Lorsque les faits ne nous conviennent pas, se convaincre que la situation est temporaire, voire imaginaire.

En tant qu’individus changeants, c’est un procédé par lequel nous passons tous à un moment de nos vies. Il peut être rapide et anodin ou au contraire créer des situations encore plus compliquées par refus d’acceptation.

Je trouve le cerveau de l’Homme très fascinant. Pour se protéger, il est capable d’agir de manière complètement autonome. J’ai souvent entendu parler de personnes qui ne se souviennent de leurs traumatismes que bien des années après, comme si le cerveau les avait enfoui dans une partie dont la personne même ignorait l’existence.

Tous les types de déni sont psychologiques, mais je m’intéresse aujourd’hui à celui créé par la gêne et la colère. Ces deux émotions nous poussent parfois à ne pas reconnaitre nos erreurs et à se convaincre que l’on est dans le vrai et que c’est notre prochain qui a une manière erronée de voir le monde, juste pour ne pas avoir à admettre que l’on s’est trompé.

J’ai déjà entendu des gens se dire zen alors qu’ils sont extrêmement nerveux; d’autres qualifier leur entourage de susceptible alors qu’ils sont les premiers à tout prendre de travers; à dire qu’ils ne recherchent à plaire au monde alors qu’ils passent leurs vies à attendre la validation des autres; ou encore se convaincre qu’ils sont la personnification de l’humilité alors qu’ils en manquent énormément. C’est toujours la faute de l’autre, même quand ils agissent/ réagissent mal. Et ils sont toujours les premiers à fuir la confrontation, prétextant ne pas aimer les problèmes.

Ils sont tout simplement trop gênés ou en colère pour admettre qu’ils ne sont peut-être pas irréprochables, et la remise en question est souvent une notion qui leur est étrangère. Elle prend beaucoup de temps (et nécessite des fois des actions) pour qu’une autoréflexion s’impose.

Ce genre de déni n’est pas forcément à critiquer, dans la mesure ou on suppose qu’eux même ne s’en rendent pas compte. Certains on été élevés avec des principes et des valeurs qui sont, ce n’est que mon opinion, tout simplement synonyme d’un manque d’éducation. Ce comportement commence à être reprochable lorsqu’une fois notifiés de leurs actions ou d’une situation, ils choisissent de ne pas y remédier et de se positionner en victime (ou dans une posture défensive). A partir de là, il n’y a plus d’excuses.

Je pense qu’il est très important pour votre santé mentale et psychologique de vous éloigner de ce type de personnes. Votre estime de soi risque d’en prendre un coup si vous vous entêtez à les garder dans votre entourage direct. Ce sont généralement des manipulateurs qui ne reculeront devant rien pour vous faire passer pour qui vous n’êtes pas, et même des fois vous pousser à bout et vraiment faire de vous cet individu aigris qu’ils aiment pointer du doigt pour justifier leurs mauvaises actions.

Combien de fois j’ai entendu dire que j’étais ‘compliquée’, que j’étais ‘difficile’, que patati et patata. A tel point qu’à un moment de ma vie, je commençais toutes mes phrases par ‘Je sais que je suis compliquée’ etc. J’étais devenue mon propre ennemi et je ne m’en rendais même pas compte.

Ceux qui sont dans un déni volontaire peuvent être de véritables bourreaux pour vos esprits, et par leur nature manipulatrice, ils peuvent vous convaincre que leur réalité est la bonne.

Si vous avez reconnu quelqu’un de votre entourage dans cet article, commencez par échanger avec lui/elle. Si la communication n’entraine pas d’amélioration, essayez encore. Autant de fois que votre volonté vous le permet, sans mettre en mal votre paix du coeur.

Dès que vous sentez que leur présence met en danger votre paisibilité, votre positivité, votre enthousiasme et votre optimisme, prenez vos jambes à vos cous!

Keep living in your light and with your inner peace intact!

Voilà pour aujourd’hui! Je vous fait plein de bisous et vous souhaite une superbe fin de semaine!

With love, Narcisse Xx

La Nature Humaine

La Nature Humaine

Narcisse’s Diary s’est refait une beauté! Nouveau logo, nouvelle aventure!

En grandissant, ma mère m’a toujours enseigné qu’il fallait éviter de faire à son prochain ce que l’on n’aimerait pas qu’il nous fasse à son tour.

On ne peut exiger d’une personne respect et considération, si nous ne lui en donnons pas en retour.

On ne peut exiger d’être écouté, d’être compris, si on ne fait pas l’effort d’écouter et d’essayer de comprendre.

Une notion qui porte tout son sens, selon moi.

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UNAPPRECIATED

UNAPPRECIATED

Hello, beautiful people 💛

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How have you all been?

How is 2019 treating you so far?

It’s been so long since I have last updated the blog with an article. I was at loss for inspiration, to be perfectly honest with you.

I kept writing, but nothing was ever finished, therefore, ever good enough to be posted.

This week, I am quite inspired. Inspired by my joy, my anger, my pain, my love, my happiness, and everything that makes me, me. So, many articles are on the way!

I generally write from my own experiences, so remember that I am never looking to be accurate, I’m looking to be relatable instead. Always.

I want people to feel like they could have been the ones writing these blog posts, I want them to understand the emotions I try to convey and to feel like they can be understood as well.

All of this to say that today’s topic was not written for any particular reason other than me wanting to share a piece of my heart.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2019 IS FINALLY HERE!

I don’t really know if I can say « finally » because let’s be honest, 2018 went by in a FLASH!

I still vividly remember new year’s eve for 2018 as if it happened yesterday. I guess time really flies by when you’re enjoying yourself.

And this is exactly what 2018 was to me: A year of discovery, of changes, of new beginnings, but all in all an enjoyable year.

It was transformative, fulfilling and full of lessons!

Read more

How To Succeed In Life?

How To Succeed In Life?

Hello, my dear readers!

How have you all been? I hope this week has been treating you very well, but if not, thank God it’s Friday, right?

With that being said, I have been working on this article for the past month (Narcisse, Professional Procrastinator at your service!) and finally had the courage to finish it yesterday! Yahoooooo!

Things have been pretty hectic since I started working full time, but I am learning a lot both professionally and about myself through this whole process.

For example, I know now that I am the type of person who prefers working in a group. Brainstorming and coming up with fresh or upgraded projects with my colleagues has been the best part of my job, so far.  The range of perspectives is so wide and refreshing to see! No idea is wrong, too far-fetched or not good enough, as long as you work on it to make it a viable one.

When you think that there is nothing more you could learn from anyone, that is when you are in the wrong. I keep learning through other people’s experiences and I love it!

Now, let’s jump right into the topic: How To Succeed In Life?

First of all, the question is way too broad to have one simple answer. Success is a very subjective notion. Simply because my idea of success might not be yours or the next person’s. We all have things we dream of accomplishing; things that will make us feel fulfilled and complete, and because we’re all so different as individuals, we tend to have different aspirations.

The real question to ask yourself is: what do you wish to accomplish that would make you happy to the point where you feel like you have succeeded in life?

Is it your career? A good love life? A particular family unit? A better mental state? etc. There are so many different life aspirations making one person focus on a thing someone else has no interest in. You can also have many different aspirations and goals, for sure.

I am writing this piece knowing that I haven’t accomplished all of my professional goals yet so some may think that I am not the most suited to tell them about what being successful means. Fair enough, there are far better examples out there.

On the other hand, I feel very accomplished on a personal and psychological level with the unit that has gathered around me ( family, friends, and close ones).

And I have been in contact with people of such different life and work lines that I was able to come to the conclusion that the best way to achieve any type of success is to strongly believe in your capacities to do so, work hard for it and NEVER give up halfway. Whatever it is.

Some people’s goals are purely work oriented. They want to climb up the ladder, leave a mark in their field of expertise and will feel fulfilled when that happens. Some just want to get a job that will allow them to be financially independent and stable.

You can find people who have more family oriented goals. They dream of improving or maintaining their family dynamics, with love, joy, respect, etc. Some others want to be the ones to build these types of units.

These are just a few examples, but there are tons of them out there.

It is always a long and hard process, that much I can admit, but eventually, with perseverance and consistency, you will get there. The advice I would give is to set some short-term goals leading to your bigger one.

For instance, if the road to a better mental state and a more positive life is the most prominent concern to you at the moment, set yourself short-term goals to achieve. Positive actions you could do to make the day, week, month a little better for yourself. Small things like reading a book, opening up to someone, treating yourself twice a month, and so on. These short-term goals will help you get to where you want to be. Slowly, but surely.

This is important because celebrating these small victories one by one will motivate you to continue and reassure you that you are on the right path.

Another very valuable factor is how you present yourself toward achieving your goal. Thinking negatively, being constantly pessimistic and doubtful will not take you very far. You will only be faced with more fears and obstacles of your own making. It is extremely important to be able to accept that it is not going to work out every time (whatever the goal is). You are going to fall head or butt first, but you are going to have to stand up again and keep going. And that’s ALRIGHT!

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It is also crucial to be able to distinguish the reality you want to live from the conception you think you should be a part of (as a man, a woman, etc). Once again, people can have many aspirations at once, but it is imperative to always remain focused on the one dearest to your heart. Not only the one society has decided you should achieve to be considered successful.

Maybe this is not really what you want, and you are just trying to fit in the constructed norms of your peers. Break away from that.

To be honest there is no right or wrong formula when it comes to leading a successful life. Do it as you see fit, as long as it feels right for you, that it causes no harm to anyone, and that you work hard for it, then it is all that matters.

Start with listing your steps:

  • Set a long-term goal
  • Set some short-term goals
  • Be perseverant and consistent
  • Face and exceed your fears
  • Stay focused
  • Be patient
  • Believe in your capacities
  • DON’T give up
  • Accept to fall and always be ready to stand back up again

So, of course, I don’t have the answer as to how to succeed in life, but I am hopeful that these words will help you get a good start.

Basically, it all starts inside. Positivity attracts positive outcomes, I strongly believe that.

I hope this short article has helped you in any way possible, and if you have some comments about the content, do not hesitate to contact me. I am open to discussion and to share ideas.

Sending positive energy to everyone. Much, much love and have a great weekend!

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Narcisse Xx

 

All photos’ credits to their original owners.