Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful people!
I was so excited about today coming up that I felt the need to write a blog entry about it!
You must be thinking ‘she is going going to be overly mushy in this one again’, and you are about right about that! Ha!
Valentine’s Day has never really been one of my favorite celebrations because as a hopeless romantic, I have never lived a lovers’ day that was actually up to my expectations.
Simply put, even while in relationships, I never really felt the #Vday spirit.
It just became one of those things I stopped looking forward to, as a romantic person, but rather as a loving one. I made my Valentine’s Days all about showing and telling my close people how much they meant to me and were appreciated.
But there was still something missing, in the midst of me loving everybody else: I was not completely contended.
My approach has changed a bit since then.
With time, experience, and introspection, I have realized that while loving and caring for other people was great, the best love one could experience was self-love.
The kind of love that makes others go, ‘wow, she’s glowing! She’s so confident! She’s got it’! The kind of love that makes you shine through anything, LITERALLY.
Once you realize that an important part of the love you have inside was made for you to love yourself, everything gets better.
Your personal and professional relationships profit from it because you start dealing with nothing less than what’s right/good for you and your heart. You put up some healthy standards and slowly get to see who’s there to stay, no matter what.
You get to know yourself a little bit more, to appreciate every little good and bad sides, to understand your needs and be more tolerant of yourself. All the things you kept giving to everyone else, but absolutely refused to give yourself become mandatory to you.
Loving yourself helps you realize that you are in charge of your own happiness and that you should not let anyone disturb your peace of mind.
Self-love is a LONG process, trust me. I don’t think I have completely achieved mine yet, but I know for a fact that I am far enough to tell you that there is nothing better than lending a listening ear to your heart and your own feelings.
I was not completely happy in the past because I was waiting for someone else to show me love and show me that they cared, while I could have done it myself. I paid attention to everybody else but me.
Of course, I could not be satisfied with that!
BUT, today is another day and I can see how far I have come since, and I know that it will only go uphill from here.
If you ask me how I did it, I wouldn’t be able to give you an exact route, but I just remember that it started after I let myself feel helpless one too many times over someone else’s actions.
I felt ridiculous blocking my own happiness because of things I do not even create in the first place. If I could not love, care for and respect myself, who was going to love, care and respect me?
So, I stopped. I made a mental decision and have stuck with it so far.
I did not automatically start caring more for myself than I did for others, but I learned to accept less and less BS (Oops!).
Then I changed the balance and focused my energy on my own growth and esteem of myself. It worked!
I have always had a deep connection to words, so there was a very positive and powerful part of my journey that revolved around music.
I started listening to uplifting and inspiring songs I could relate to, and as I was singing the lyrics, I was actually speaking to myself and speaking that new Narcisse into existence.
And, I made it happen.
Reading meditation and self-improvement books and stories have also helped a lot. It lifted some invisible weight off of my shoulders and helped me leave it in the past so that I could move forward and focus on loving myself.
When you know and love yourself, you just start being in phase with other people’s feelings as well. You understand and become more tolerant and accepting.
You naturally preach the treat-other-people-the-way-you’d-like-to-be-treated mantra, and it can make of you a better version of yourself.
Just like I said, it is a long process, but it is SO important to go through it.
So, on this Valentine’s Day, I wish you to experience the purest love and relationship of your life: Self Love.
Happy Valentine’s Day ❤
PS: Here are some songs, books, and quotes that made/make me feel empowered and worthy of self-love and self-care.
- Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets (I have only read a part of the book because it wasn’t mine, but it did me a lot of good)
- Emotional Intelligence (All the volumes if possible)
- Everything About Me (This one is a writing book rather than a reading book, but it helps you get to know yourself better. I highly recommend!)
- I Am Not Your Negro (Nothing screams self-love more than a man taking a stand against those who constantly tried to make him feel like he was the lesser race. Powerful!)
- Douaou Djabira & Dakan Tigui by Sidiki Diabaté (If you don’t understand the lyrics, Google is here for you!)
- No Tears Left To Cry, 7 Rings, & Breathin‘ by Ariana Grande
- No Scrub & Waterfalls by TLC
- Bills, Bills, Bills, Independent Women & Girl by Destiny’s Child
- Level Up by Ciara
- Walking Away by Craig David
- New Rules by Dua Lipa
- Angel by Fifth Harmony
- Shake It Out by The Glee Cast
- Power, Woman Like Me & Joan Of Arc by Little Mix
- Femmes Fatales pt.5 by Jennifer Dias & Milca (Once again, Google is your friend.)
- I Am Moana from Moana (Yes, sing it Moana!)
- Melanin by Sauti Sol
- Lush Life by Zara Larsson
- Feeling Myself by Nicki Minaj & Beyoncé
- Madonna, There For You, You Don’t Know Me & There Is No Us by the StarCast (If you don’t watch Star, you’re missing out!)
- Listen, Flawless Remix, Save The Hero, Ego & Schoolin’ Life by Beyoncé
- “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” Buddha
- “Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ” M. Scott Peck
- “Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” Stacey Charter
- “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” Oscar Wilde
Listen to Oscar, he knew what he was talking about!
These are just a few, but if you have other suggestions or things you think I would like, please feel free to share in the comments!
SN: Cover image’s credit to the owner!