Communication, Effective Communication, Fear, friendship, love, Motivation, Relationships, Thoughts

UNAPPRECIATED

Hello, beautiful people 💛

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How have you all been?

How is 2019 treating you so far?

It’s been so long since I have last updated the blog with an article. I was at loss for inspiration, to be perfectly honest with you.

I kept writing, but nothing was ever finished, therefore, ever good enough to be posted.

This week, I am quite inspired. Inspired by my joy, my anger, my pain, my love, my happiness, and everything that makes me, me. So, many articles are on the way!

I generally write from my own experiences, so remember that I am never looking to be accurate, I’m looking to be relatable instead. Always.

I want people to feel like they could have been the ones writing these blog posts, I want them to understand the emotions I try to convey and to feel like they can be understood as well.

All of this to say that today’s topic was not written for any particular reason other than me wanting to share a piece of my heart.

When it comes to your feelings towards people’s actions, some could easily get a bit overwhelming if they are not communicated effectively.

And by effective communication, I mean being able to share your feelings and emotions, however annoying they could be, without feeling wary of your peers’ reactions. And being able to receive their feelings as well.

Now, let’s be specific: Just like the title is suggesting, feeling unappreciated, for instance.

This is the type of feeling that can get out of proportion if not addressed head-on.

It often happens with introverts or people who feel everything on a deeper level. They tend to expect everyone to make them feel the way they genuinely make everyone else feel. But they do not always communicate this expectation.

Let’s say you’re in a relationship and you always give your time, cherish your moments as if they were your last, never leave a message unanswered for too long and when you really can’t do otherwise, you apologize afterward (even though you don’t really have to).

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Or in a longtime friendship, where you both have lives and busy schedules, but you’re often the one making an extra effort to stay in touch.

You could easily feel like they are taking you for granted, and that they are too comfortable in their shoes. A conversation usually needs to take place between the parties so that any confusion about your or their intentions is diffused.

However, some of these conversations do not always help the case, and can even worsen it.

Why?

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Because the parties do not always communicate effectively.

The difference between debating and effective communication is that the latter requires people to LISTEN and UNDERSTAND, rather than ARGUE and ASSUME.

Maybe you’re the one taking things too at heart.

Maybe the person doesn’t make enough conscious efforts towards the situation.

Maybe they do, but you’re so hung up on your pain that you dismiss it.

Maybe you’re overreacting or they are too comfortable to see that there is an actual problem.

It’s not because it’s happening in your head that it’s not real. But it doesn’t always mean that the other person is doing it to hurt you, or because they don’t value you.

Sometimes being taken for granted can mean that you’ve become a very trusted and comfortable element in the other person’s life. So much that they do not seem to think much of any situation.

This is fine until you tell them how you feel. Their reaction should be supportive and productive, rather than diminishing and dismissive.

All in all, if you ever feel like you’re unappreciated and your efforts are being overlooked, speak to the person about it. Try to come off as little accusing as possible, to avoid creating natural defensive reactions in the other person.

And if you ever find yourself at the other end of the spectrum, try to be comprehensive and not take every single word at heart (because they might sometimes be coming from a place of recent pain). Try to work towards resolving the issue instead of trying to argue over it.

When you deeply care for someone you do your best to make them feel appreciated. All the little things hold such grand meanings. Even if you’re not used to doing it, just try. Think of the happiness you will give to the person you care so much about.

If you have time, look up videos on YouTube of people randomly complimenting their friends. You never know, it can change a day!

To all the people out there feeling unappreciated sometimes, it is all good. You are not crazy, you are not doing too much, you are not exaggerating. Your emotions are valid and when shared the right way, they create the most amazing outcomes. Trust me.

It’s not always easy to embrace your full emotions because you are often afraid of being categorized as the problematic one. It’s even hard, to be honest. Maybe it’s the delivery that you need to work on, but never stop embracing them, please.

Keep on feeling them!

Love and light to everyone, and thank you to my friends and family for making me feel so valued and loved.

I don’t tell you this all the time, but it goes a long way. You help this little Narcisse feel good about herself and her ever-growing confidence whenever she needs it, but most of all you make her heart smile.

So, thank you 💛

Much love,

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Narcisse Xx

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