Jan 10 2018
Night and Day, I confuse now
In this troubled mind of mine
I stay up, thinking of who I am, who I want to be
But does it really matter in this world of SHOULD Be’s?
I think long
and I come face to face with a tough wall
Is this really how it was supposed to be?
Me crying at night and smiling when the sun comes up
With no recalling of what makes me feel what I feel
I can’t explain it
I don’t want to explain it
I don’t have to explain it
They will just have to forget I said anything
Why does it feel like I’m sick all the time
When I seem to be fine
This is no love song
Nor a sad song
This is not even a song
It is my heart speaking and my fingers typing
After this, what will I have?
All I’m asking is for this feeling to leave me
I didn’t ask for it
I just wanted to live my dream, to be happy
What is this new harsh wall I am facing,
I know that it isn’t supposed to be easy
I get that.
But please, God.
Can I have it easy?
I am not questioning your power, your presence, and your actions
I am just questioning my own will
I want to give up and cry
But I can’t, because I know my inner self
And that’s not I
I am a strong woman
I won’t let life break me
I will let it make me
But only if it betters me
When I think of the future, and all of my dreams coming true
I want to work harder to leave behind this ephemeral wall
But even if I cannot leave it behind
I only wish for one thing
I wish for you to let me break every diminishing wall
And let me get to happy